G IBBER ISH
i cant really render my thoughts down on paper very well. kinda feels like squeezing glitterglue out a tube.. shaking ketchup out a bottle. or maybe more like stuffing 5 marshmallows in your mouth and saying 'CHUBBY BUNNY!!!' 8))) omg.. ugly game. LOVES IT.
Anyway, the past few days didnt taste so good. but on the bright side it made the sweet taste sweeter. and im really proud to say the #1 yummygummy was my best friend kimberly 8) she's kinda like family. in fact, very. the kind i take for granted... get a litte bored of.. get a little boring around... and then shit happens and she picks my stars up for me 8)
i cant really rmb my new year resolutions. i think the two main ones were to live with no regrets, and be sincere. regrets wise, i dont know man... its really tough.. if i werent me, id tell everyone i love i love them. Its so ironic. the people i say il0vey0u the least to are the people i love most.
sincerity.. i dont think ive let myself down. It hurts me when people have doubts bout my sincerity. ugh but what the heck. i should stop being so hypersensitive or i'll pop one day. oh but i do wonder! what if you dont really like a person but you still try to be friendly towards her (without bitching duh). make the usual small talk... play around and laugh a little. is that insincere? maybe its unclassifiable.
and why the hell do . nvm. i dont know how to put this down.
that day someone asked me to tell her more bout myself. and i was stumped. giving her a short description of myself felt inadequate. not like i wanted to giveher some commonwealth essay. so i threw her a few adjectives and said in exasperation "why you doing this to me! tell me more bout YOU." haha problem solved.
Anyway, the past few days didnt taste so good. but on the bright side it made the sweet taste sweeter. and im really proud to say the #1 yummygummy was my best friend kimberly 8) she's kinda like family. in fact, very. the kind i take for granted... get a litte bored of.. get a little boring around... and then shit happens and she picks my stars up for me 8)
i cant really rmb my new year resolutions. i think the two main ones were to live with no regrets, and be sincere. regrets wise, i dont know man... its really tough.. if i werent me, id tell everyone i love i love them. Its so ironic. the people i say il0vey0u the least to are the people i love most.
sincerity.. i dont think ive let myself down. It hurts me when people have doubts bout my sincerity. ugh but what the heck. i should stop being so hypersensitive or i'll pop one day. oh but i do wonder! what if you dont really like a person but you still try to be friendly towards her (without bitching duh). make the usual small talk... play around and laugh a little. is that insincere? maybe its unclassifiable.
and why the hell do . nvm. i dont know how to put this down.
that day someone asked me to tell her more bout myself. and i was stumped. giving her a short description of myself felt inadequate. not like i wanted to giveher some commonwealth essay. so i threw her a few adjectives and said in exasperation "why you doing this to me! tell me more bout YOU." haha problem solved.
ive kinda always felt the need to explain myself, even when i really really dont know how to. its like... i just feel it in my heart okay!SHEESH. haha but i cant tell them that can i.
In retrospect, caring so much what others think is stupid. people will eventually come to see those dimensions of you. maybe not all.. just those who care. But they're the only people who really matter anyway.
okay this is all trash talk. i cant stop not caring bout what other people think.
ohoh and today, i asked myself, "monica, where's the logic in unconditionally loving a friend?"
In retrospect, caring so much what others think is stupid. people will eventually come to see those dimensions of you. maybe not all.. just those who care. But they're the only people who really matter anyway.
okay this is all trash talk. i cant stop not caring bout what other people think.
ohoh and today, i asked myself, "monica, where's the logic in unconditionally loving a friend?"
like, if you dont know why you love her you might as well pick a random person on the street to love man! not like she magically fell onto your lap or something. sometimes i feel as if Obligation is Love's doppleganger. Isnt really love, but you cant entirely say its not love either.
haha WHATEVER MONICA! love is cheesy. anyway, this entry's too long. so not your style.
posted by moneeque at 8:38 PM
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