Been thinking of handcuffs

jessica's 55$ haircut. ?!

lking like a damn burglar!

For nicholas to paste in his locker and own his commando boys(: (:

ok i cant sleep :( the past three days ive been slping at unearthly hours and waking up at 12. I hate waking up late actually, makes me feel like i wasted my whole morning. and frankly, there's a certain cloud of anxiety surrounding afternoons.

so what am i doing?? reading xiaxue's blog.

HAHA. seriously, i think she's really engaging. i think spore needs more people like her.. Unafraid to speak their minds, unafraid to admit they arent exactly gorgeous, or say, "im not putting her solo pic cos i want more attention on me.(hey at least i dont deny it!)"

Even if its not bout the most political, philosophical issues so what? you can come to your own epiphanies reading frivolous rants, seriously.

But enough about my xiaxue enlightenment, its time to wallow in self pity (:

...

My daddy and I, our relationship's very VERY volatile. We're both volcanoes. stupid volcanos. We erupt every day. It almost seems like some NEED. hahah. But the gd thing is things return to normal almost like magic. Even im amazed myself. But then again, i still wish things didnt have to be this way. Having such a strict daddy makes me clam up. I dont feel the same enthusiasm to share whats happening in my life with him as i do with my mum. and many times i have to lie, or tell him half-truths, or not even say anything at all. sometimes my mum helps me keep secrets from my dad, and while its all girl power "mummy-i-love-you-so-much", it feels like some conspiracy against my dad and that's just sad :( I do know fathers feel inadequate (watched it on Oprah), and im sure my dad realises the way i voluntarily tell my mum stuff but not him. When i tell him stuff about my life, it's usually always in vehement self defence..To convince him that whatever im doing's worth it. I guess maybe cos im still 18, still his baby girl. Maybe when im 21 it'll be better (:

okay obviously something happened today.

ANYWAY(:

right now i cant tell if its love or just the hormones. HAHA (hello xt!) like bordering on both. But the more i know the more i love, though. and im learning to count my blessings (:

okay its late, i wont talk bout haagen dazs and swimming and how im working for PEANUTS and a daily scoop of sorbet with hotfudge and rainbow sprinkles. thankyou for the fattieS gdnight!!!