blisterin barnacles

THE WEATHER'S SO DAMN HOTTTT my mood is totally yuck.

My ex-orthodontist is so damn hot as well. but it's a nice hot. the.. I- wanna-take-you-home-but-i-cant kinda hot.

hothothot.

saw him in the hot canteen.

while i was eating my hot wanton.

hothothot.

hot sluggish day.

this is how i feel today

hothotheat :

(big red thing is the sun. little yellow house is my house. tiny pitiful black scum of the land is ME.)

chest nuts.

i miss whoring for haagen dazs. Checkitout my 9 layer latte YO.

anwwwww,The question wasnt self-centered like i hoped it to be:

If there was one aspect of the medical profession which you could change. what would it be and why. Refer to your observations and experiences.

So i talked bout working hrs and how there's a concern that singapore docs are overworked. I hope i did okay but im worried i pigeonholed it to a local context but butbuttt what2doo.

and

there were like 800 people in the whole hall. a SEA OF PEOPLE. i felt like i needed to be moses to get in.

anywaaay, tmr got another interview im gonna go sit down at my table now and dig into the depths of my soul.

byebyecheerio!

this used to be my uncle's way of saying bye to me. we'd turn around & wiggle our butts when we say it (: (: (:

okay alright

its todaaaay. YOOHOO! haha.

my aunty's so sweet. She just called over frm the states to wish me luck. and the highly religious person she is, she told me to seek my parents' and grandparents' blessing before i leave the house. and finally she told to be calm and pray that whatever happens will be for the best.

SOOOOOO im gonna go take a bath now and chillout.

and maybe btw, enjoy the exhilaration of being at the edge of a dream (:

essay test tmr

omgomgomgomoMGGG. im feeling quite nervous bout tmr's essay. i feel the jitters in my own roooom!!! and im afraid i wont be able to fall aslp tonight.

just read some med students' blogs. and its pretty comforting to see that these people who got through really wanted it with all their heart. i hope tmr im able to sort out my thoughts and write down stuff speedyspeedy!

okay and my brother's acting stupid again.

"look jiejie look! i can play the recorder with my right nostril"

*starts playing a strangely melodic tune with right nostril*

"and now my left nostril."

*proceeds to play with left nostril*

"you see. the sound is less good with my left nostril. This means my right nostril works better."

(i try to hide signs of amusement)

"maybe next time i can try farting. jiejie, you think i should risk my music exam and play with my nostrils??"


(and while im typing all this my mum is pretending to cough like she's gonna die. to scare my bro. and my bro is patting her back vigourously. haha!)

good luck to me and you and the rest of the hearties.

Fast remedy

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY am i still getting the chills!!!!!!!!!

hello i just faced a stupid fear (:

this kinda fear is

good for.. certain art forms.

it is also evil and.. whats that R word.. RAVENOUS.

i would like to banish it to hell. and beyond.

and attain peace.

I MEAN IT.

butbutbut!! hahahahah. today: Happy day.

• Swimming with hanna and nabiha, whom seem to miss me very much. (id like to be humble but its true!!!)

• Tea Party for Scones and Caramel Black Tea with my brosie blue- he told me the story line for TENACIOUS D.then we played Fact or Crap.

• Prata, and HDB loitering with Elijah Cai - hot keyboardist of Stellastory

not-so-hot bf of monicatan.

(i really hope we Medicine together manssss! I'll go touch kids while you unfuck their minds.)

SO...

5 6 7 8, yes i think today was great!

Farewell sweet world!

Yahoo0000o!

Elijah told me he got the letter (not surprising), and i didnt think i got one. started to feel panicky and emo then my papa CALLED!!! and he told me i got mail. and i was very very very happy i omgawded around the swimming complex and sat down on a bench to smile to myself for i dont know how long!(: (: (:

its too early to be too happy but i cant help it! i feel like framing up that piece of paperrrrrr (:

Happy Playday day (:

I've got so much to say bout my very happy birthday which was happiestsappiest at the beginning and the end. but it's gonna be a little long and i need to clear my room then go down to swim. (Made a bet with mika that id swim 20 or else) SO ANOTHER DAY.

okay quick quick.

today at playschool i met little samuel and his mum in the toilet and she told me that the night before while he was lying on the bed with her, he said, "tmr school. teacher monica.. teacher monica.. teacher monica..teacher monica.." all the way until SHE fell aslp. hahah! sounds so weird right! but so terribly adorable!!

Samuel refuses to talk to ANYONE. that day i stood in for a teacher in his class and after class ended Sam and Fifi were like

"did samuel talk to you?"

"nope."

"oh bummer. You'd have made a breakthrough if he did. We've even resorted to holding back his snack to make him speak."

well not that he cant talk. i heard him blabbering to his mummy in hokkien like some beng in the toilet that day. and the moment he saw me, ziiip. silence.

so after his mummy told me (and he kept smiling at me), i thought 'okay. this is my chance.'

So i sat him on my lap, oo-ed and ah-ed over his PlayDay stamp, pointed to his hand and went,

"woooow... you've got a stamp on your foot. you've got a stamp on your foot samuel! look at that. it's on your FOOT."

and he went "H..."

then stopped!

I CAME SO CLOSE.

anw! Here's PlayDays:

and this is so random, but my mummy's beautiful!

T2 i love you

T2 died today. i hope he's happier now. no fungus on his body, no antiseptic stings, no stupid little box to live in :(



I'm gonna miss my lil' baby warrior turtle. I hope you get lots of sunlight up there (:

We must not let a whole generation go to waste.

I just watched Idol Gives Back and i feel super weird inside.

There i was feeling an unexplained happiness, getting excited bout the bbq, my birthday.. trying not to think abt getting into medicine (all about memeMEEE).. and there, on the same planet, were people dying of poverty, aids, malaria, and every other little disgusting thing which people like me never have to care about.

I know this sounds damn drama. but im being honest.

suddenly i felt quite childish/self-centered/myopic/somethinglikethat for occupying my day-to-day thoughts with:

I need more clothes.

Toned arms, tight butt, swim more.

I'll die if they dont shortlist me.

My eyebrows are so tiny.

I need to spend more time with grandparents.

Gotta catch up with old friends.

What if i suck at the gig.

My room's a mess.

Why cant i play the guitar yet.

:( not that its wrong, or abnormal for that matter.. but for a moment i felt so caught up in unneccsary things that dont exactly make me happy. i just need to let go of the trivial and count my blessings.

1. My parents and aunties and uncles.

2. My brother who secretly loves me.

3. My bestest girl friends whom i never have to second guess.

4. Nicholas and Songjun who make me laugh

5. Elijah for my little realisations

6. OH! toto for her food, the clothes, the keepingofsecrets.

7. For more than enough food, clothing, opportunities and love i would ever need.

Okay frankly, the main shit in my head right now's about getting into medicine. I know i keep telling myself 'whateverwillbe,willbe.', but the thought of not getting what i want is still gnawing away my insidessss.

I really want to be able to help people in that special way which only doctors can..and i wont deny it, i want to be a hero. But watching all those poor people on tv, and initiatives like 'Malaria No More.', 'keep a child alive', 'Freedom School' reminded me that ultimately, my larger goals in life are more important. And that is to live for something bigger than myself.

But these moments of epiphany are SO FLEEETTTINGGG.

Just now i thought to myself:

"If at 42 i find myself stuck in a day job, secretly obsessed with earning more money, busying myself with raising a family, that'd be quite disappointing."

BUT IT'S SO EASY TO BE A DREAMER WHEN YOU'RE YOUNG AH.

okay ramble ramble.

Today in Playdays i discovered a slight affection for a non-human turtle called T1. Poor reptilieanicasanova's got fungus all over it right now. I just read up about treatment on the net and tmr i will try to save it.

Nonetheless i sense imminent doom.

NUSHURRYCALL.

today i went to visit the very nice elijah in his very pretty SAFTI camp. and i think i love him very much (:

also saw audrey whom i havent seen in the longest time. Didnt know what to say to her(as usual) so i ended up sounding really dumb.. like, 'hey! i heard you got an asthma attack yesterday!' pfft.

after 4hrs of boonlay sun, I: came home. fell aslp. sun in my face. woke up. HEADACHE.

But i still very like today.

Gonna get a cartoon cake for our willygyee birthday! Figured we might as well get one now.. while willy's still my leeel babybrother and im still a TEEN.

nice right! but its 220$.

"dont want this cake la. I'm not called simone."- stupidwilson.